Hah! How is that even fair? If something was different, it's not like I'd remember. [and what few snippets they do recall, information deemed essential to their supporting role, who's to say those are their own memories at all? If it's something remembered for stardust's sake, the Universe may have simply implanted the memory in them.
Maybe all their memories are fake, and they were always just a construct tricked into thinking they were human. What a wonder train of thought to be having right now.]
Fine, then. I guess I'm not allowed to mourn, since it might hurt your feelings! I should just get over it, right?? Who cares about that Odile, the new one is soooo much better~
[Stars, they're a mess. They might be glancing around the room for escape routes, they're one bad reaction away from trying to run. Surely the roof is still brand-free...]
What? Loop, my feelings aren't hurt. You don't have to 'get over' anything, least of all for my sake. I certainly don't want you to make yourself unhappy to spare me a little discomfort.
Then I'm just a bad friend, aren't I? Acting like you're not even real, because my real friends would...
[They catch themselves this time, voice cut short before they say something else they shouldn't. They must be exhausting to deal with, like this. She's going to lose her patience if they keep this up.
They take a pointless breath, composing themselves into something... slightly more hinged, perhaps. A semblance of calm, if not the real thing. Be normal.]
Sorry, just forget it. As if things aren't bad enough already... you don't want to deal with my tantrums on top of it all.
[ She should let it go. She only seems to make things worse, no matter how she tries, but maybe this one last attempt will get through to them. ]
You have never treated me as if I weren't real. You're a good friend, Loop. You were a good friend long before I started to suspect you were also an old friend.
[It's a guilt they've been carrying for as long as they can remember. They forgot them. All of them. And only in that last desperate battle, when they came so, so close to the end...
What kind of friend would just forget? What kind of person could be so callous? Who could forgive someone like that?
Who would hear all of that, and just... act like it's normal, somehow. A reasonable misstep.
... if they had asked back then, would she have simply answered?]
... it was an extremely stressful situation to be in. It wouldn't be surprising for me to forget things... right?
[ Siffrin was in the loops long enough to learn healing Craft from observation alone. From the state they were in when she saw them in that memory, Loop was there at least that long, with no support and no answers at all. Just trying to imagine what they were going through, alone, makes her heart ache. ]
Stress can have a profound effect on the mind, even when there aren't lives at stake. That doesn't even begin to describe what you went through. I doubt anything you've experienced is very surprising in that sense.
If that's all you wanted, you wouldn't have to ask.
[Their own smile is forced, as always. They've long passed the point of being able to tell, but maybe some part of the act is real. That would be nice.]
... I did mean to tell you sooner. It just never seemed like a good time, I guess.
Back when those copies were running around... it just kind of came out? So the Fighter knew, but then we found out you were dead the whole time... I didn't really know how to bring it up after that.
[... and the copy barely reacted back then, which made the whole thing feel even worse, so maybe they were a tiny bit scared the real one wouldn't care either... but they're not gonna say that part out loud. That's way too honest.]
[ That's strange to think about. She doesn't know much about what her copy got up to, but she knows that it failed to protect Siffrin and hurt Stanley. Would it have reacted the same as her to Loop's secret? Did it have the same suspicions she did? ]
I'm glad to know you had some intention of telling me. I was starting to think that I would have to be the one to tell you.
Hah... I don't know. I wouldn't have bet on it, honestly. [They're much better at avoiding difficult topics than they are at talking to their friends.]
I always knew you'd figure it out eventually. If stardust could do it, there's no way you would fail to notice. I probably slipped up a long time ago, didn't I?
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Interesting... Alterations in weather are unexpected, but not impossible. The sky around the House was always dark, after all.
However, none of that suggests to me that anything prior to the loops is different.
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Maybe all their memories are fake, and they were always just a construct tricked into thinking they were human. What a wonder train of thought to be having right now.]
Fine, then. I guess I'm not allowed to mourn, since it might hurt your feelings! I should just get over it, right?? Who cares about that Odile, the new one is soooo much better~
[Stars, they're a mess. They might be glancing around the room for escape routes, they're one bad reaction away from trying to run. Surely the roof is still brand-free...]
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What? Loop, my feelings aren't hurt. You don't have to 'get over' anything, least of all for my sake. I certainly don't want you to make yourself unhappy to spare me a little discomfort.
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[They catch themselves this time, voice cut short before they say something else they shouldn't. They must be exhausting to deal with, like this. She's going to lose her patience if they keep this up.
They take a pointless breath, composing themselves into something... slightly more hinged, perhaps. A semblance of calm, if not the real thing. Be normal.]
Sorry, just forget it. As if things aren't bad enough already... you don't want to deal with my tantrums on top of it all.
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You have never treated me as if I weren't real. You're a good friend, Loop. You were a good friend long before I started to suspect you were also an old friend.
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...]
I forgot your name.
Researcher, Housemaiden, Fighter, Kid... actors reading lines. It was easier.
I just... forgot.
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Distancing yourself from the situation. I can see how that might help.
[ She wants to ask how long they were looping, but it seems like the less she says the better, so. ]
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What kind of friend would just forget? What kind of person could be so callous? Who could forgive someone like that?
Who would hear all of that, and just... act like it's normal, somehow. A reasonable misstep.
... if they had asked back then, would she have simply answered?]
... it was an extremely stressful situation to be in. It wouldn't be surprising for me to forget things... right?
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Stress can have a profound effect on the mind, even when there aren't lives at stake. That doesn't even begin to describe what you went through. I doubt anything you've experienced is very surprising in that sense.
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[But they've shared enough for one day, maybe. It's already more than they'd ever planned to.
The fact that she's still speaking to them after this is... enough.]
I'll... try to be less difficult. Since you asked so nicely.
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Here I thought I was asking you to be more difficult.
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[Their own smile is forced, as always. They've long passed the point of being able to tell, but maybe some part of the act is real. That would be nice.]
... I did mean to tell you sooner. It just never seemed like a good time, I guess.
Back when those copies were running around... it just kind of came out? So the Fighter knew, but then we found out you were dead the whole time... I didn't really know how to bring it up after that.
[... and the copy barely reacted back then, which made the whole thing feel even worse, so maybe they were a tiny bit scared the real one wouldn't care either... but they're not gonna say that part out loud. That's way too honest.]
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[ That's strange to think about. She doesn't know much about what her copy got up to, but she knows that it failed to protect Siffrin and hurt Stanley. Would it have reacted the same as her to Loop's secret? Did it have the same suspicions she did? ]
I'm glad to know you had some intention of telling me. I was starting to think that I would have to be the one to tell you.
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I always knew you'd figure it out eventually. If stardust could do it, there's no way you would fail to notice. I probably slipped up a long time ago, didn't I?